What kind of mom am I?

You know, I think we all think that we are a cool mom deep down inside. We all think that we are doing what we think is right, but when it comes to parenting..there is no right or wrong. Well there is definitely wrong, but that's a whole another discussion.

The other day I was having a discussion with someone about something that I did and they go, "oh no, you're not a helicopter mom are you?" Uh, helicopter mom? Then I got it, a mom that pretty much hovers over their children in everything they do, never letting go. I said, "no way, I'm a tiger mom." I love how that's my response now. So I wonder if you ask all the moms around the world what kind of mom they think they are..what kind of answers would we get? 

So I decided to take a quiz. I just Google'd it and looked up the first link: What Type of Mom Are You?

The Alpha Mom

Watch out, kids, because here comes the Alpha Mom! She is plugged in and all business, even when it comes to solving personal issues—her kids are always on time and have the cleanest clothes on the block. She uses her vast contacts and tech knowledge to simplify the complex in her life. Alpha Mom is armed with a BlackBerry, and she is going to make it happen. Whatever "it" is—a school fundraiser, a playdate, a corporate merger. Alpha Mom is always on top of it. 

Okay, so this doesn't really answer my question. Well a little bit. I know I'm an over achiever and I take "putting my kids first" way too seriously (if that's even possible).

What I do and my reason for it:

1. I always make sure my kids are clean. If you wouldn't run around with crust around your mouth and looking a mess why would you let your kids? I understand that kids get dirty but there's no reason why the dirt should stay there if they're done playing. Parents, teaching your kids to wipe their mouths and their hands after they eat is not only for hygiene reasons, it's manners!
2. No soda's, juice or candy. If it doesn't belong on the food pyramid, it doesn't belong in their body. They are kids and they have their whole lives ahead of them to dump sodas and sugary things into them when they are older. If you start them adjusting to the idea of not having any of these things when they are young, they are more likely to not want it when they are older. Kids already have energy, we don't need to fill them with sugary drinks and candy. Also, my thought is if you give them something that they are obviously going to prefer versus bland stuff (ex. regular milk or water) they are always going to choose chocolate milk, juice or soda. I've made exceptions for Chase now since he's exposed to different things at school. I'm sure he's had a piece of chocolate or a chocolate chip cookie, but not in my house. Instead give them the cake without the frosting or better yet maybe some pie! Orange juice is the exception I make. 
3. I let Chase fight for himself. If I fight all of his battles for him, then he's never going to learn to stand his own. I tell Chase that it's not okay to hit, but if someone hits you then you hit them back. Most parents will probably disagree with this but I will not let my kids get bullied. There is a difference between fighting and self defense. I don't want him to come to me and be a tattle-tale. I won't be by his side every minute of the day especially when he goes to school. He needs to be able to handle his own.
4. I constantly remind Chase to drink water. I think this one is pretty self explanatory but easily forgotten. We as adults don't drink our daily amount and we remember things. Can you imagine kids trying to remember to drink water on top of their exciting day? I think sometimes people forget to get their kids into the habit of drinking water that the kids end up not liking it. I think it's a very important habit to instill. Kids play all day and forget that they're thirsty. Next thing you know, they are dehydrated and don't feel well. Let's not even let it get there! 
5. I bargain with Chase a lot. Maybe bargaining is not the right word. If Chase asks me for something, I usually ask him to do something for me in return. It's not really that he HAS to. It's more so he gets accustomed to the idea of, giving and taking. Not just taking and I want this and that. It's more if you want this, then you have to work for it. As kids, there's not much he can "work for." But it gets him into the right mindset of not just demanding things. 
6. I make him eat his dinner. I know it doesn't sound like much but I can't express how often I've heard parents complain about their kids not eating or not wanting to eat. I'm not saying I force feed my kid, but there are times when kids just want to play and they say they're full. I've heard Chase tell me he's done because he sees other people are done and he wants to play, but I tell him to finish his food and he actually does. Judging by portion and when he had a snack I think you can use your best judgement and see if he's really full or just trying to get out of eating for playtime. Which leads me to the next one..
7. No T.V or playing when eating. We sit down and have dinner time. It's a very important thing that both Brandon and I agreed on. I think it's important to have a family sit down dinner where we aren't distracted by TV. Occasionally, we do allow him to eat in front of the TV (usually on weekends) but that's seldom. I'm saying MAYBE once or twice a month if even. When we do, I almost immediately regret it because he's distracted from his food. Next thing you know, he has barely eaten and he just doesn't want to eat anymore. Kids should sit down and eat. They shouldn't get up and down from the table running around. I think it also develops good manners. Would you let your kids run around in a restaurant while everyone's eating? 
8. No yelling or screaming. Have you ever heard kids at the grocery stores or restaurants that just yells and screams for shits and giggles? Or they do it because they're trying to throw a tantrum. I personally think it's embarrassing to have a child act out in that way. One, they should never have to yell or scream in a high pitch voice unless they are frightened or they are in some sort of open space yelling off a mountain. 
9. I don't let my kids run around the store. I'll admit I was hesitant to let Chase walk when we were inside Target for the first time. I was afraid that he would be out of control running around that I would have to try and catch him and just have other people look at me with terror in their eyes. If Chase started acting up he's going back in the cart. Luckily, when I tell him to stay by me he does. At once point, I even tested him telling him he had to stay next to me at all times and I would suddenly stop just to see if he'd notice. 
10. I emailed the principal of an elementary school to see how old you have to be to enroll. Yes, my son is only turning 3 years old, but it's never too late to start planning for their education future. I know that school isn't everything, but that's where they are pretty much going to start becoming influenced by peers and you can only hope that what you have distilled in them remains on their mind. The least you can do, is make sure they go to a good school to limit the negative peer pressure. I saw that the school next to ours only had a 4 rating out of 10. So I decided to look around and see what other schools within our school district was good. I saw one that had 9 out of 10 and great reviews so I emailed the principal to see how old do they have to be to start kindergarten and if they offered Pre-K. 
11. I don't make excuses for my kids behavior. Yes, sometimes being tired is the culprit but a lot of times I think parents are just looking to make excuses for their kids behavior. If Chase is acting out of line, you best believe I'm the first one to call him out on it. The more you make excuses for your kids, the more you're making an excuse to accept inappropriate behavior. 
12. Whining and crying. I'm still working on this one. I tell him all the time to stop whining! It's babyish, and it's not necessary especially if you're a big boy. It's annoying and they need to learn to ask for things in a big boy way. Another thing is crying when they are in trouble. If you're getting scolded for not listening, don't cry. I don't even want to hear it. If you don't want to be in trouble, then don't do something that will get you in trouble. 

I'm wrapping up my list here. This might be a very controversial list depending on people's parenting style. If you disagree with me, that's okay. Just because I'm strict doesn't mean I'm not loving. In fact, I'm strict because I love them. I think it's important to distill good discipline and manners when they are young and become more relaxed as they get older. That way they already have that fundamental in them and it comes more naturally. At the end of the day, our kids are a reflection of ourselves and are also our greatest compliments.

When did I get so UNFUN?

Have you ever just kind of stopped and evaluated your life for a moment. We get so caught up just keeping the gears moving that I think we forget to take a look at our life in a panoramic view. What are we doing or not doing? The person we've become from the person we use to be. Little thing that has been neglected; whether it's your friends, enjoying life, being fun.

I just realized how NOT FUN I've become. Not just personality wise, cuz shit I think I'm hilarious :) But man, I use to do things and enjoy life. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy life but it's just focused on doing things and having fun with my kids. But, I think I'm forgetting to balance being a mom and being young at the same time. Maybe it's because I'm out of my element?

The  reason why I write this is because I see Brandon still hanging out with his friends, drinking. I almost never get to do that. It's not his fault, but I'm kinda like why don't I get to do that? We're both parents. How come he seems to still have fun and I don't? I think it's partially just because I make the decision not to. I don't know how he gets the energy to hang out at night and function the next day. Maybe I don't have enough of a reason to? I think if I had my close friends here and they wanted to hang out I probably would. I just look at how boring I am now. Even Brandon tells me that I'm boring all the time. I feel like the less I'm motivated to have fun, the less I find the urge to be fun. Does that make sense? I have made a lot of friends since I've moved up here, they're mainly Brandon's friend that I've befriended. I love them to death and I'm really glad that they're people that treat me like family, but there's nothing like your own set of friends that you hang out with. Ones you make on your own terms.

I wish I was fun again, but sometimes I don't know if I even have it in me. I feel like day by day, I'm becoming more uptight and the less I am making an initiative to be fun. It's like boredom has swallowed me. I have no motivation to drink, to hang out.. Even when I do, I feel like I hold back. That I'm just not really that into it.

Do other people feel this way? Do they become dissatisfied with the person they've become? Maybe it's a mommy evolution. You become a mom and you just slowly lose your fun.

New job, new style!

So this is the third week at my new job and I LOVE IT! The drive is so short I feel like I barely get on the freeway and I'm getting off again. It's way less stressful than my last job and just how peaceful it is here. It's the complete opposite of where I came from. It's different being so solitary and just feeling like you're not doing anything almost. It's kind of a problem because then I start window shopping more. Internet window shopping. I also have to get more clothes because I need to actually dress up for work now and also I don't get a casual Friday. My work before was business casual and that's what Friday here is. But being in a nice office environment actually makes me want to dress up. I got a couple pairs of slacks and some dresses and there's just something about me and slacks. It just doesn't look right. Instead I've been wearing a lot of pencil skirts and dresses. Now I'm totally drawn to them. I kinda like that fact that I can have a diversified style. I dress up and wear a lot more dresses at work. Then on the weekend's I'm still just me in my jean shorts and t-shirts. It kinda satisfies both my wanting to be more girly and loving to be casual.

Trent, I can't believe is going to be 8 months old soon. In 7 days to be exact. I feel like it's going by so quick but he hasn't really shown any drastic change. I've definitely been keeping up with the food thing. He sits very well but he's so fidgety that he just kinda falls back from excitement! He's sick again though and so is Chase. I feel so bad for them. It's like they never get to catch a break. It's been maybe 2 weeks since Trent was last sick. He still has no teeth and he doesn't say any words yet. He acts like he might try and crawl soon but besides that he really hasn't done much. 

Chase, he is a chatterbox. He just talks and talks. Even if its just bath time and he's repeating the same word over and over again. I have to tell him, SHHH. Chase you don't have to talk every minute that you're awake buddy. He's so energetic and curious about everything. He gets really annoying sometimes because he's just constantly following me. I know I complain now, I'll miss it when he's older. For the most part he's very caring and VERY SWEET!

Change

"The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow but simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live." - Leo Buscaglia

It has been a really long time since I've blogged. It's been really busy at work, but I know things are going to get a little bit crazier in a week before it gets calm again. There are so many things to write about that has happened since the last time I've blogged! Let's start with my main priorities..

Trent is going to be 7 months old tomorrow! I look at him and I think maybe he's growing up faster than I realized. I feel like I'm so busy with Chase that I'm falling behind with Trent. That or maybe he's just reaching his milestones a little bit slower than Chase. Trent can finally sit and roll over both ways although he doesn't do it often. He is about 19 lbs and still has no teeth. He was sleeping through the night for the longest time until he started getting sick. I think he developed the habit of waking up at night and now he won't stop. He's sharing a room with Chase now. It has been an easier transition than I thought. I thought it was going to be difficult for Chase because he's such a light sleeper. When Trent cries in the middle of the night, it does wake Chase up and I can see him sit up through the baby monitor sometimes then lay back down. I feel bad for him so I go in there and grab him. If he was in his own room, I would've let him cry it out for longer. That's one of the challenges that I face with Trent. I feel like with Chase I let him be more independent and self soothing. Trent hates being left alone or on the floor to play. I think it's because he sees his brother playing and moving around so he wants to be apart of it. Another thing is the baby foods and cereal. I started cereal a little bit later than Chase. I think with Chase I was eager to start new things with him because it was my first time! I started cereal for Trent when he was 6 months old and just when it started becoming consistent he started getting sick after his flu shot and it just seems back to back. It's affecting his bowel movements and he had a hard poop the other day so I stopped the cereal. Then he had diarrhea. I think I was onto trying different foods for Chase by now and he had 4 teeth! I shouldn't compare them, I know..but it's hard. I'm not holding Trent up to any standards, I'm just comparing. I think I need to kick it into a higher gear with Trent. I feel like I'm so busy making sure Chase isn't jealous or doing things with him because he's CONSTANTLY asking for things that I forget Trent needs just as much attention, if not more!

Chase, what to say. He is a chatterbox. He is obsessed with Batman and when he puts on his Spiderman shoes he thinks he's a superhero. He starts doing kick-ass moves. He's starting to get a little feisty and starting to fight for what's his. That's okay with me. I don't encourage hitting when you're mad, but we have been teaching him that if someone hits you, you hit them back. Chase is such a gentle giant and other kids takes advantage of that. I'm glad to see that he's starting to defend himself. He follows me around all the time. I go in a room, he's right behind me. I play with Trent, he's there playing too. I stop and he follows me where ever I go. Even if Brandon's home, he's my shadow. Except my shadow can talk. He did go through a phase where he's just so annoying, but he's back to his usual self now. He goes through these phases where he's kind of a jerk and just hates life and everything we ask of him is like asking him to drink cyanide. He is such a sweet boy though and he is very caring. I think I don't realize how well behaved he is until I bring him out. He is a kid that I can take to the store and bring him out without feeling embarrassed or out of control. He wants to do everything on his own and wants to help. I don't know if I'm ready for all that. I mean, I am but in a way I'm not. Having kids and slight OCD-ish behavior does not mesh well because he wants to do things his way and it bugs me!

Now on for the big finale...*DUN DUN DUNNN*
I GOT A NEW JOB! Yes! FINALLY, after three years of making this 140 mile a day commute. I FINALLY found something closer to home. It's in Newport Beach working as an Office Manager/Compliance Officer/FA Assistant/Personal Assistant. Pretty much, I'll be doing everything but the financial advisors' jobs. I've been looking on and off for the last three years and even willing to take a pay cut. I felt like this was God testing my patience and strength. That I needed to endure this to make me a stronger person and to learn to appreciate things. I ended up getting an offer from two different companies and I got a raise instead of a pay cut. I'm SO EXCITED to start my new life, my new career. This changes EVERYTHING. Financially, it will help SO MUCH. I get more time to spend with my family, less time in the car. I'll probably be less stressed out. I'll have time to go back to school. It's scary because I've been with my company now for 5 1/2 years. I grew up here. I started when I was only 20 and in a totally different stage in my life. Now, almost 6 years later..I have two kids and live in a different city. It's also intimidating because I think no matter how confident you are, there is always that tiny flicker or doubt where you're not sure if you can handle it. What if I fail or do not live up to their expectations. What if it's not the right move for me? Although change is scary, it is necessary. Change is the ONLY THING that is constant in life. You have to embrace it. Without change, life is at a standstill. In order to be better, to accept greater things into your life you have to allow yourself to take risks. Even if you fail, at least you can say that you tried. I KNOW that I am meant for something great and I am going to be successful. I've had many setbacks in life. I wouldn't even call them setbacks, just maybe obstacles. Obstacles adds character to life. There is a quote that I have as part of my email signature.

"Success is not measured by what you have accomplished, but by the opposition you have encountered and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds."

I think that is so true. Some people think success means making it big. Whether it's given to you, inherited or worked for. To them it's all the same. To those who has EARNED it, knows the difference. The journey is just as important because it teaches you things and it's what helps you become who you are. The lessons you learn along the way. Maybe it's just a mentality. I rather lose to a champion than to defeat a coward.

Goodbye 2012, Bring it on 2013!

Bye 2012! It was great, at least what I could remember! I can't believe another year has gone by. It seriously went by so quick I feel like it should only be May! Is that part of getting old? The years just fly by now?

2012 has been interesting. It was definitely a very rough year for us but at the same time I feel like that just gives us more to look forward to in 2013. However, 2012 brought us Baby Trent that I am oh so thankful for. At least right now until he makes me pull my hair out. He has been just the most amazing baby ever. His personality is so different from Chase and in a way he is more difficult but he never fails to bring a smile to my face and just want to love on him! He is the sweetest and happiest baby for the most part. Although, it didn't start off that way, it sure turned out well. After having Trent, I feel like I really need to prioritize my life a little better and re-motivate myself. For a while, pretty much since I've been working here I feel stuck. I feel unmotivated because I'm so mentally drained from my job that I just want to melt once I'm off. I feel like I've put it off long enough and I need to somehow further my education or at least move towards furthering my career. I have a full blown family now, two kids. I want to be able to buy our own home, get the cars we want, live comfortably and be able to do things with and for my family. At this rate, we're not going to be able to do that. So 2013 is going to be about making our house a home. Doing things to make our life feel more stable. Motivate myself to get a move on life and not let life move on without me.

So 2013 resolutions:

Go back to school: whether it be a certificate program or actually trying to figure out something I would want as a career. I need to figure something out. I'm contemplating doing radio broadcasting type of classes. I feel like I don't belong in my industry. I want to do something fun. I don't need to be a radio personality (although I think I would make a great one) but I would like to be behind the works. I just want to do something in a fun environment. That and I get a business degree and try to get a management position. Get my licenses and stay in my industry.

Try to be more patient: I know this seems cliche, but really it has been a test. Especially with Chase being 2, he definitely puts my patience to the test. Except now, I'm gonna have to do it all over again in another year or so when Trent gets older so I should start working on this patience thing now.

Buy a new bed & mattress: yes, this is a resolution. Our mattress sucks. We can literally hear the springs popping underneath us as we sleep and I've had that thing since I was 20.

Get back in shape; maybe even volleyball: I know I'm not going to be a volleyball addict like I use to be. Play 3-4 times a week. I know that's not realistic, but I would like to be able to play open gym once a week and tournaments at least once a month. I want to feel natural at it again. Most of all, I want my toned body back.

Start one of my business ventures: I know this one is a little far fetched. There has been a couple things I've wanted to do, like starting a clothing line, making friendship bracelets and donating a portion of the profits to this organization I believe strongly in called love146.

Make our house a home: This one is quite important to me. We have lived here for about 2.5 years now and well, we haven't really done much to the place. We plan on living where we are for a while longer until we save up and am able to buy our own place. I would like to have some potted plants on our patio, patch up the holes in our walls, paint the place and our cabinets. Just make it seem more like a home instead of a place we just moved into.

Get married?: Personally, I don't care how long we stay engaged for because to me it doesn't change anything. We are still together at the end of the day. We are going to go home and still have the same routine with two kids. It doesn't make me feel any more or any less committed to him. I know, this is a bigger deal to Brandon so we are actually going to try and plan something. At least start. We know we don't have any money and can't afford very much so this is going to be the tough one.

ENTJ

So I took a Personality Test today that is suppose to be pretty legit. It's not one of those personality tests you take on some horoscope site. It's actually a personality test based on a book written by Carl Jung and Isabel Briggs-Myers. The results are similar to a professional MBTI, but not to be treated as one.

Turns out I'm an ENTJ. To sum it up, I'm a charismatic, rational and quick minded leader that's not very sensitive.


ENTJ personalities are very charismatic, rational and quick-minded. They are meant to lead and inspire other people and there is no other type that can do this with such an ease. There are no insurmountable obstacles for ENTJs – nothing is impossible if you try hard enough. Naturally, they rarely have difficulties convincing other people that the goal chosen by the ENTJ should also become one of their personal goals.
These leadership traits form the core of the ENTJ personality type. ENTJs can be unbelievably confident and charismatic – these qualities draw most other types like a magnet and this makes it quite easy for an ENTJ to achieve what they want to achieve. People belonging to this type love challenges, big and small, and firmly believe that they can accomplish everything given enough time and resources. More often than not, this confidence results in a self-fulfilling prophecy – where other types give up and move on to the next project, the ENTJ ploughs ahead and usually achieves spectacular results simply because of that sheer willpower.
That being said, no one can accuse ENTJs of narrow-mindedness or short-term thinking – ENTJ personalities are excellent strategists and have no difficulties crafting elaborate long-term plans, which are then executed with determination and precision. These personality traits make ENTJs brilliant entrepreneurs and business strategists – their charisma and confidence can truly shine in the business world. People belonging to this type also tend to be very dominant and persuasive when it comes to arguing with others or negotiating a deal – while this can certainly turn against the ENTJ, usually it is their opponent who gives up in the face of ENTJ’s willpower and unyielding belief in his or her arguments.

Further to the above, ENTJs are very energetic and tend to have excellent communication skills. They genuinely enjoy interacting with other people and respect those who stand up to them, especially in an intellectual debate. ENTJs have no trouble recognizing someone else’s talents and such encounters are actually very healthy for them as the ENTJ’s self-confidence can easily turn into arrogance and condescension if it is not kept in check.

ENTJ personalities cannot tolerate inefficiency and cannot stand those who they perceive as lazy or incompetent. An ENTJ can be chillingly cold and ruthless when it comes to such situations – they have a very rational mind and could not care less about being sensitive when that mind tells them that someone has failed. People with this personality type put rationality above everything else – and this is one of the main reasons why they are so efficient in the business world, even if such a behavior gives them a reputation of cold-hearted tycoons. In all likelihood, an ENTJ would simply shrug their shoulders and say “I don’t care if you call me an insensitive b*****d, as long as I remain an efficient b*****d”.
Ironically, ENTJs must have the support of other people in order to be truly efficient. They are great leaders, but even the most brilliant mind cannot do everything by itself. This is especially true for ENTJs, whose confidence partially depends on the feedback they receive from their “audience”. Consequently, ENTJs should try to pay more attention to other people’s feelings or at least pretend that they do – most mature and successful ENTJs do that to some extent, even though their sensitivity may hide a cold and calculating mind.
All these personality traits relate to ENTJ’s behavior in the professional environment. People with this personality type often believe that any expression of emotions is a display of weakness, but that does not mean that they cannot be loving and sensitive in a different environment. Feelings and emotions are definitely the Achilles’ heel of most ENTJs and they are likely to find it very difficult to reveal the emotional side of their mind. Even the most confident ENTJ is likely to feel quite powerless in such situations. People belonging to this type should make conscious efforts to develop that aspect of their personality – this does not have to affect their behavior in the workplace, but any ENTJ would benefit tremendously from combining a good grip on their emotions with that rare gift of extraordinary charisma and confidence.
To summarize, ENTJ personalities are very efficient and confident individuals who rarely have difficulties achieving what they have set out to achieve. However, ENTJs are likely to have difficulties when it comes to recognizing and expressing emotions – while such a trait can actually be beneficial in the business world, it may cause many problems in personal relationships if the ENTJ does not make conscious efforts to address this weakness.

ENTJ relationships and dating

ENTJ personalities are energetic and enthusiastic dating partners who take their romantic commitments very seriously. As in other areas, ENTJs strive to seize the leadership position in the romantic relationship – however, this is likely to be a good thing as the ENTJ will be eager to assume responsibility for making sure that everything goes smoothly. ENTJs are creative and innovative dating partners – this is reflected in their long-term relationships as well. As an ENTJ is likely to be on a permanent “scan” approach when it comes to their environment, they may often try to review and, if possible, change the rules of their relationship – but their commitment will always remain very strong. However, the ENTJ will not hesitate if it becomes clear that the dating or long-term relationship is heading towards a dead-end – they will break it and leave, without looking back.
ENTJs are usually quite bad at sensing their partners’ feelings and emotions. This personality type should try to pay more attention to improving these skills, as the combination of insensitivity and tendency to dominate can easily break the relationship, especially during the early dating phase.
From the sexual perspective, ENTJs are energetic, enthusiastic and very imaginative. Their leadership traits and skills will be seen very clearly – it is likely that the ENTJ will push their dating or long-term partner to explore new ways to show their love and affection. However, the ENTJ is also likely to seek some structure and predictability in their sexual life.
Even though ENTJs love to hear that they are loved and appreciated, this need is very low compared to other personality types. They are unlikely to have any issues with neediness or self-esteem – this makes ENTJs very attractive to potential dating partners. However, many other types (especially those with a strong F trait) need a lot of praise and support – ENTJs need to have this in mind. If the ENTJ does not consciously try to meet their partner’s emotional needs in such a relationship, they both may end up inadvertently hurting each other.
ENTJs usually reach impressive heights in their careers and have great money management skills. This is a very useful trait, likely to eliminate most of the financial arguments. However, such characteristics may also put a lot of pressure on the dating partner and the relationship in general, if the ENTJ starts focusing too much on their career and putting their relationship second.
ENTJs see all conflict situations as opportunities for personal growth. This may be perfectly reasonable from their perspective, but F personality types are likely to have a different opinion. These types are very vulnerable to criticism and are likely to avoid conflict situations at all costs. Consequently, the ENTJ tendency to meet the conflict situation head-on can be very threatening to them, especially if they are still dating each other. ENTJs should keep this in mind if their partner belongs to one of F types.
Generally speaking, ENTJs bring a lot of great things into their romantic relationships and are likely to be excellent partners. They are very devoted, enthusiastic and determined to put a lot of effort into making sure that everything goes smoothly. ENTJs are eager to assume responsibility and bear the full weight of the leadership, even during the dating phase. It is more than likely that the ENTJ relationship will see a lot of mutual respect and opportunities for growth – as long as the ENTJ and their partner pay attention to their respective weaknesses.

ENTJ parents
December 1st, 2012 | Add a Comment

ENTJs are likely to be strong-willed, strict and responsible parents. People with this personality type do not like to compromise – they love challenges and set high standards for themselves. Naturally, these traits are clearly recognizable in the ENTJ parenting style as well. ENTJ parents will do everything they can to ensure that their children are smart and independent high-achievers.
ENTJ personalities are unlikely to worry much about instilling their principles and values – they place more importance on rationality and independent thinking. However, ENTJ parents will not tolerate children disrespecting their authority. An ENTJ will often encourage their children to voice their own opinions and not be afraid to defend them, but they make sure that every child knows their obligations.
People with the ENTJ personality type are likely to have two major difficulties when it comes to parenting. First, ENTJs are not very emotional or sensitive and consequently they do not really see a point in paying much attention to these matters. This may make it quite difficult for them to connect with their children on the emotional level. Second, ENTJs are likely to find it quite challenging to communicate with their children during their adolescence as they may then try to reject the ENTJ’s authority. ENTJs should try to adopt a less structured approach as the child grows and matures.


Being friends with an ENTJ

November 11th, 2012 | Add a Comment

ENTJ personalities seek two main things in their friendships – inspiration and personal growth. Unlike many other types, they do not really need much emotional support or reassurance. However, ENTJs relish the idea of engaging in deep, meaningful discussions with close friends. People with this personality type are very good at noticing opportunities for learning and development – and they always try to encourage their friends to participate as well.

Generally, ENTJs pay a lot of attention to their friendships. It is not always easy to be an ENTJ’s friend as people with this personality type tend to have a very strong willpower and are also likely to be very smart, argumentative and critical. Not everyone can withstand an argument with them – and this is exactly why ENTJs respect and value friends who are able to hold their ground. That being said, ENTJ personalities do not understand nor respect emotional arguments and appeals. They are very rational individuals and can only accept a different opinion if it is supported by logic and reason.

Naturally, ENTJ friends may find it quite difficult to support other people on an emotional level. Dealing with feelings is certainly not their strongest suit and they are likely to try to avoid emotionally charged situations. ENTJs enjoy challenging their friends and questioning their conclusions, which is usually the opposite of being sensitive – and not many personality types can cope with this. Feeling (F) types are especially vulnerable to criticism and tend to take it very personally.
As ENTJs tend to put growth and personal development above everything else when it comes to friends and friendships, it is quite doubtful that they will pursue relationships that do not offer such opportunities. ENTJ personalities are drawn towards other intuitive (N) types as such friendships give them a chance to brainstorm and theorize about things they consider important. Sensing (S) personalities, being more practical and down-to-earth, may find it difficult to understand the point of those discussions. 

Mornings with a 2 year old..

Man I need to catch up on my blogging! It has been so busy at work. I still have two Glossybox's to review. Yes, I said TWO! I got two at the same time :)

So I just wanted to share my last two mornings with my fellow moms and soon to be parents of toddlers to give you a glimpse of what your mornings could be like. Let me start off by saying, i am not one of those moms that makes excuses for my children's bad behavior. I'm not going to blame it on something, (although some times being tired is the culprit) and I'm not going to justify it by saying there are worse kids out there. If my kid has been out of line or is acting up, I'll be the first one to call him out on it.

The last two mornings with Chase has been unbearable. Some mornings aren't bad and some are. It's almost like this kid has mood swings. One minute he's fine the next he's upset at everything. This is how my morning went..

(Chase wakes up and walks into the room)

Me: "Good morning buddy you want to get changed and watch some tv?"

Chase: "Ya!"(runs to the room and lays down on the ground)

(I get two wipes and his diaper along with his clothes and sits on the ground in front of his legs)

Chase: "wipe?"

Me: (gives him one of the wipes)

(Chase throws the wipe on the ground next to him and turns his head and you can just see his face change)

Me: "what's wrong buddy why are you upset? You asked for a wipe and I gave it to you."

Chase: "hmph"

Me: (As I'm trying to get him undressed) "What did I do Chase, I don't understand. You asked for a wipe and I gave it to you."

Chase: "NO!" (attempts to kick me with this legs)

Me: "I wouldn't kick me if I were you Chase" (Stern look) "I don't know what's wrong with you but you better STOP."

(Chase continues to be stubborn the whole time and turns his body or sticks his legs straight so I can't get him changed or dressed..but I manage. As soon as I get his shirt and pants on he whines)

Chase: "Jacket" in whiny voice.

Me: "Okay, give me a minute I can't do everything at once and stop whining you're not a baby."

(Finally he's dressed and running out of the room)

Me: "Do you want to watch a little tv and have some water?"

Chase: (runs to the couch) "no milk!"

Me: "Alright I'll turn the TV on and get you some milk." 

(As I turn the TV on and is walking to the kitchen)

Chase: (Grabs his blanket and mine) "Cold. Cover."

Me: "Okay buddy, let me get your milk then I'll come cover you okay?"

Chase: "NOO, cover!" 

(I ignore him as I'm warming up his milk. Yes, I've been giving him warm milk because it's freaking cold and he has a cough. I come out of the kitchen and walk towards him.)

Me: "Can you hold the milk for me while I cover you up?"

Chase: "ehhhhh" (whiney noise)

Me: "Chase....hold the cup so I can cover you with the blanket."

Chase: "Ehhhhhh!"

Me: (I try one more time) "Chase, hold the cup so I can cover you with the blanket."

Chase: "NO!"

Me: "Do you want me to cover you with the blanket?"

Chase: "NO!"

Me: "Okay, fine. I don't know what is the matter with you. Everything you asked for I gave to you. You asked for wipes, I gave you a wipe. You asked for TV, I turned it on. You ask for milk I gave it to you."

(I put the cup down on the coffee table in front of him and goes into the room to finish getting ready for work. Meanwhile, the whole time I can hear him whining and groaning about being covered. He's making all sorts of "EEEEEE" screaming high pitch type sounds, he's yelling "NO", he's just going on and on by himself. Finally, I go out in the living room to check on him.)

Me: "What is your problem Chase." (I see his cup is tipped over on the table) "Do you want your milk?"

Chase: "NO!"

Me: "Okay, so you sure you don't want your milk?"

Chase: "NO!"

(I start walking towards the kitchen to put it in the fridge and he starts to cry for milk. So I walk back out.)

Me: "So you want your milk?"

Chase: "NOO!" (getting a worse attitude every time moving his arms like he's jerking away)

(Same thing repeats. I walk away, he cries for milk except I put it in the fridge)

Me: "Don't cry and give me an attitude. I've asked you twice if you wanted your milk and you said no. Do you want your milk?"

Chase: "NOOO!" 

Me: "Okay that is my point."

(I walk away and go back into the room to get Trent changed and ready for school. Meanwhile Chase is bawling and screaming for milk the entire time like it's the end of the world. You can tell he's so upset and so worked up just saying "I want milk!")

Me: "It's too late, you had your chance. Your cup was sitting there for 30 minutes and I asked you if you wanted your milk and you said no. Now we are leaving. So get your shoes and let's go."

Chase: "NOOOOOOOO!"

Me: "Alright I'm counting to three. One, two..."

(Chase budges a little then changes his mind.)

Me: "THREE!" 

(I walk over and pick him up and put him on the ground. He's trying to crawl away and twist and turn. I grab him by the ankle and drag him back to me and keep one of his legs under my arm as I try to put his shoes on. The whole time he's crying like it's torture. I managed to get both of his shoes on.)

Chase: "Couch" (points to the couch)

Me: "No, we are not sitting on the couch. We are leaving. Mommy has to go to work."

Chase: "MILK!"

Me: "CHASE, LISTEN TO ME. LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!" I start to say slowly and keep repeating "I gave YOU *points at him* milk and YOU *points at him* said NO. So I put it back because YOU DIDN'T WANT IT." (I was hoping that maybe through me repeating that over and over again slowly he would maybe hear it because I know he's so angry that he has virtually closed his ears. Plus he's screaming no the whole time while I'm talking.)

(As I turn around to grab my stuff I hear him trying to undo his shoes)

Me: "Chase, you better not take your shoes off or you're going to be sorry."

(I turn around to grab the baby carrier and turn back.Chase has one of his shoes off. I spanked him. He cries like it hurt, but I know it didn't.)

Me: "That is what happens when you don't listen. You get a spanking. LISTEN CHASE. Then it won't happen. I've gave you warnings ALL MORNING."

(I run downstairs to put my stuff in the car because I knew that he would throw a really big tantrum still and I would have to carry him down the stairs...just like yesterday. I open the door when I got back upstairs and he is sitting there next to baby brother and he looks at me. No noise, no tears.)

Me: "Are you done?"

Chase: "Yeahhh, I'm sorry mama." (he walks towards me to put his arms around me)

Chase: "Hug?"

(I crouch down and give him a big hug)

Me: "Chase you have to listen okay. I don't like to have to spank you or yell but you need to listen buddy. There's no reason why you should've gotten so upset, okay?"

Chase: "Otayy" 

(Gives me a kiss)

And just like that it was like nothing ever happened. I wish I had the ability to be able to get over things as quickly as kids do. For those of you that are against spanking your kids and "it's wrong." Well, keep your opinions to yourself. I'm not suggesting anything to anyone. Whatever works for you then go for it. There is a difference between spanking for discipline and abusing your child and NO, IT IS NOT A FINE LINE. If you come home and you're having a bad day and you're hitting your kids with more force than necessary or with a closed fist. THAT IS CHILD ABUSE. If you're hitting your kids for no reason, THAT IS CHILD ABUSE. If you ever have to think for a second, "did I really hurt him bad?" THAT IS CHILD ABUSE. Nowadays parents are so scared of their kids that they have no control. I know some parents say they don't want their kids to be scared of them. Well, then that's their way of doing things. But fear IS respect. I'm not saying fear like he is going to hide in the room the moment you come home. I'm talking about when you say you're going to do something, they know you're going to do it. That they know you're not bluffing. The day you let your child call your bluff, then own you. Respect is a HUGE thing in the Chinese culture. I think that's why some Chinese kids are more obedient and well mannered. It's a form of respect. If you respect your parents you don't talk back and you don't act out because that is embarrassing. You do as you are told. You never talk back to your elders and you definitely do not talk back to your parents. Showing good manners is also a sign of respect. 

Chase is a really good kid for the most part. At least that's what people tells me. Every kid will have their moment and throw a temper tantrum. I get it. I know he's "not that bad compared to most kids" but at the same time I'm not going to use that as an excuse for him to act out when he does. Like oh, he doesn't get upset or act out very often so I'll just let him. Uh no. Never ONCE have I let him get away with anything. I don't care if it takes me to cancel my plans with whatever I'm doing if it mean I have to sit there until he does what I ask. If he was upset about something legitimate, go for it! But to throw a fit because he feels like it, that's not okay with me. I have a zero tolerance policy. What I say goes and you have two choices. Either do what I tell you to do or you can sit in time out indefinitely until you do it. Kids needs to know, that their boundaries are not INFINITE. That there are repercussions to their actions. If you don't put your toys away? Fine, you don't get to play with them. You don't want to eat your dinner? Well sit there until you do or stand in time out and face the corner until you do. You don't get to eat something different because you aren't "feeling it" when I saw you eat the same dish yesterday and you cleaned it. You don't yell and scream at the top of your lungs when you're mad. This blog entry (if anyone even reads it) might start a lot of controversy because everyone's parenting style is different. People probably think I'm so wrong and so cruel for spanking Chase. I gave the kid a fair warning. Actually I had reasoned with him and warned him for damn near half an hour. I tried reasoning with him. I tried talking to him. I tried explaining things to him. Sometimes, when all else fails you need to put your game face on and be the adult. Obviously he was just being stubborn. Chase apologizes for the most part. Sometimes, he even catches himself 15 minutes later if he realizes that he's upset about nothing and he just comes to me or Brandon and says he's sorry and goes to do whatever it might be he was upset about. Chase is a sweet heart and I know it. He's a funny little fella that sometimes doesn't even understand his own actions or his own emotions. I get that. I try to be patient with him and let him get over things or realize things on his own and most of the time it works. I am thankful that he's not as bad as other kids, I know I'm lucky. But I would like to also think that it is a result of our parenting.