So this is it, tomorrow is the big day. My scheduled c-section. I can't believe it has been 40 weeks already. I must say this pregnancy flew by. I kept hoping every night for the last couple nights that I would go into labor but it never happened. I think I'm ready..I cut it pretty close to the wire, but the house is clean, stuff for Trent is ready. Crap, I just realized I forgot to get batteries for the swing and wash the new bouncer chair we got from the baby shower. Oops, I guess I'm not completely on my game but I must admit for someone that went full term, I accomplished more in the last 2 weeks than I could've imagined. Maybe it was a good thing to save all the manual labor for the last 2 weeks. It helped the time fly by and keep my mind off the date.
How do I feel right now? A little nervous, maybe even a little emotional. I'm nervous because I know I'm going to go in for surgery. Last time, when I went in to get induced I thought I was going to deliver the baby naturally. That didn't scare me. Knowing that I'm going in tomorrow to have SURGERY. To get operated on, cut open...that's a little nerve wrecking. I mean who isn't nervous the day before surgery. I'm a little emotional this time, I think more so than I was with Chase. It's weird, because you would think I should be more emotional with my first born. However, I think it's because I already have Chase and know how wonderful it is, that the anticipation of the new little guy is actually....more touching? Maybe that's why the younger sibling is more spoiled. You realize how fast the first one grew up, that it makes you want to cherish the second one more. That's just my theory. I think I'm also a little emotional because of Chase? I feel nervous for him and knowing that I'm not going to be spending the next 2-3 days with him makes me a little sad. No matter how annoyed I have been with Chase lately, the moment I think about spending time away from him I miss him already.
I can't belive that Trent is going to be here in less than 24 hours. I went to my appointment today. Hungry. I only weighed 132. Which means my total weight gain for this pregnancy is exactly 25lbs. The doctor said I'm measuring a little bit big so maybe expect Trent to be about the same size as Chase? Except, this time Trent is facing up. He's "sunnyside up." Thank goodness I'm having a c-section then! I went to my pre-admission collaborative today and actually going through this stuff with the hospital is making me feel more comfortable about having another c-section. It's making me a little more excited for the experience. With my first one, I felt like it wasn't intimate at all. They told me that this time, they will actually lower the curtain and lift my head up when they are about to pull the baby out so I can actually witness the birth of Trent! Something I didn't get to do with Chase and I was pretty bummed about. Although, I wonder how am I not going to see my own guts? That would be kinda crazy if you could see your on insides don't you think? They told me that I woud get to hold Trent while I'm still in the O.R and I would be able to witness everything, including the cutting of the umbilical cord. This sounds pretty good so far so we'll have to see how it goes.
I can't believe it, I think I am starting to trip out a little bit. I can't believe I'm having another baby and that the day has finally come. Once again our lives will be changed forever. Brandon and I were watching videos of when Chase was a baby. He was so cute, so chubby. Now he's this active skinny toddler. I'm looking forward to experiencing that again.
It's going to be weird having two kids. Having to share the love. It seems near impossible to even imagine loving anyone else as much as we love Chase.
It's almost 10pm and my cut off for any liquids and food is 12 am. Last time I remember being so hungry and thirsty I am definitely taking advantage of that.
Tomorrow at 6:00am we have to be at the hospital and at 7:25 I will be in the operating room. Who knows, maybe Trent will be born at 8:08am :)
Can't believe we're going to be parents again. I know that doesn't make sense because we never stopped being parents, but I just feel like we're parents AGAIN because we're doing this all over again!!
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