What kind of mom am I?

You know, I think we all think that we are a cool mom deep down inside. We all think that we are doing what we think is right, but when it comes to parenting..there is no right or wrong. Well there is definitely wrong, but that's a whole another discussion.

The other day I was having a discussion with someone about something that I did and they go, "oh no, you're not a helicopter mom are you?" Uh, helicopter mom? Then I got it, a mom that pretty much hovers over their children in everything they do, never letting go. I said, "no way, I'm a tiger mom." I love how that's my response now. So I wonder if you ask all the moms around the world what kind of mom they think they are..what kind of answers would we get? 

So I decided to take a quiz. I just Google'd it and looked up the first link: What Type of Mom Are You?

The Alpha Mom

Watch out, kids, because here comes the Alpha Mom! She is plugged in and all business, even when it comes to solving personal issues—her kids are always on time and have the cleanest clothes on the block. She uses her vast contacts and tech knowledge to simplify the complex in her life. Alpha Mom is armed with a BlackBerry, and she is going to make it happen. Whatever "it" is—a school fundraiser, a playdate, a corporate merger. Alpha Mom is always on top of it. 

Okay, so this doesn't really answer my question. Well a little bit. I know I'm an over achiever and I take "putting my kids first" way too seriously (if that's even possible).

What I do and my reason for it:

1. I always make sure my kids are clean. If you wouldn't run around with crust around your mouth and looking a mess why would you let your kids? I understand that kids get dirty but there's no reason why the dirt should stay there if they're done playing. Parents, teaching your kids to wipe their mouths and their hands after they eat is not only for hygiene reasons, it's manners!
2. No soda's, juice or candy. If it doesn't belong on the food pyramid, it doesn't belong in their body. They are kids and they have their whole lives ahead of them to dump sodas and sugary things into them when they are older. If you start them adjusting to the idea of not having any of these things when they are young, they are more likely to not want it when they are older. Kids already have energy, we don't need to fill them with sugary drinks and candy. Also, my thought is if you give them something that they are obviously going to prefer versus bland stuff (ex. regular milk or water) they are always going to choose chocolate milk, juice or soda. I've made exceptions for Chase now since he's exposed to different things at school. I'm sure he's had a piece of chocolate or a chocolate chip cookie, but not in my house. Instead give them the cake without the frosting or better yet maybe some pie! Orange juice is the exception I make. 
3. I let Chase fight for himself. If I fight all of his battles for him, then he's never going to learn to stand his own. I tell Chase that it's not okay to hit, but if someone hits you then you hit them back. Most parents will probably disagree with this but I will not let my kids get bullied. There is a difference between fighting and self defense. I don't want him to come to me and be a tattle-tale. I won't be by his side every minute of the day especially when he goes to school. He needs to be able to handle his own.
4. I constantly remind Chase to drink water. I think this one is pretty self explanatory but easily forgotten. We as adults don't drink our daily amount and we remember things. Can you imagine kids trying to remember to drink water on top of their exciting day? I think sometimes people forget to get their kids into the habit of drinking water that the kids end up not liking it. I think it's a very important habit to instill. Kids play all day and forget that they're thirsty. Next thing you know, they are dehydrated and don't feel well. Let's not even let it get there! 
5. I bargain with Chase a lot. Maybe bargaining is not the right word. If Chase asks me for something, I usually ask him to do something for me in return. It's not really that he HAS to. It's more so he gets accustomed to the idea of, giving and taking. Not just taking and I want this and that. It's more if you want this, then you have to work for it. As kids, there's not much he can "work for." But it gets him into the right mindset of not just demanding things. 
6. I make him eat his dinner. I know it doesn't sound like much but I can't express how often I've heard parents complain about their kids not eating or not wanting to eat. I'm not saying I force feed my kid, but there are times when kids just want to play and they say they're full. I've heard Chase tell me he's done because he sees other people are done and he wants to play, but I tell him to finish his food and he actually does. Judging by portion and when he had a snack I think you can use your best judgement and see if he's really full or just trying to get out of eating for playtime. Which leads me to the next one..
7. No T.V or playing when eating. We sit down and have dinner time. It's a very important thing that both Brandon and I agreed on. I think it's important to have a family sit down dinner where we aren't distracted by TV. Occasionally, we do allow him to eat in front of the TV (usually on weekends) but that's seldom. I'm saying MAYBE once or twice a month if even. When we do, I almost immediately regret it because he's distracted from his food. Next thing you know, he has barely eaten and he just doesn't want to eat anymore. Kids should sit down and eat. They shouldn't get up and down from the table running around. I think it also develops good manners. Would you let your kids run around in a restaurant while everyone's eating? 
8. No yelling or screaming. Have you ever heard kids at the grocery stores or restaurants that just yells and screams for shits and giggles? Or they do it because they're trying to throw a tantrum. I personally think it's embarrassing to have a child act out in that way. One, they should never have to yell or scream in a high pitch voice unless they are frightened or they are in some sort of open space yelling off a mountain. 
9. I don't let my kids run around the store. I'll admit I was hesitant to let Chase walk when we were inside Target for the first time. I was afraid that he would be out of control running around that I would have to try and catch him and just have other people look at me with terror in their eyes. If Chase started acting up he's going back in the cart. Luckily, when I tell him to stay by me he does. At once point, I even tested him telling him he had to stay next to me at all times and I would suddenly stop just to see if he'd notice. 
10. I emailed the principal of an elementary school to see how old you have to be to enroll. Yes, my son is only turning 3 years old, but it's never too late to start planning for their education future. I know that school isn't everything, but that's where they are pretty much going to start becoming influenced by peers and you can only hope that what you have distilled in them remains on their mind. The least you can do, is make sure they go to a good school to limit the negative peer pressure. I saw that the school next to ours only had a 4 rating out of 10. So I decided to look around and see what other schools within our school district was good. I saw one that had 9 out of 10 and great reviews so I emailed the principal to see how old do they have to be to start kindergarten and if they offered Pre-K. 
11. I don't make excuses for my kids behavior. Yes, sometimes being tired is the culprit but a lot of times I think parents are just looking to make excuses for their kids behavior. If Chase is acting out of line, you best believe I'm the first one to call him out on it. The more you make excuses for your kids, the more you're making an excuse to accept inappropriate behavior. 
12. Whining and crying. I'm still working on this one. I tell him all the time to stop whining! It's babyish, and it's not necessary especially if you're a big boy. It's annoying and they need to learn to ask for things in a big boy way. Another thing is crying when they are in trouble. If you're getting scolded for not listening, don't cry. I don't even want to hear it. If you don't want to be in trouble, then don't do something that will get you in trouble. 

I'm wrapping up my list here. This might be a very controversial list depending on people's parenting style. If you disagree with me, that's okay. Just because I'm strict doesn't mean I'm not loving. In fact, I'm strict because I love them. I think it's important to distill good discipline and manners when they are young and become more relaxed as they get older. That way they already have that fundamental in them and it comes more naturally. At the end of the day, our kids are a reflection of ourselves and are also our greatest compliments.

When did I get so UNFUN?

Have you ever just kind of stopped and evaluated your life for a moment. We get so caught up just keeping the gears moving that I think we forget to take a look at our life in a panoramic view. What are we doing or not doing? The person we've become from the person we use to be. Little thing that has been neglected; whether it's your friends, enjoying life, being fun.

I just realized how NOT FUN I've become. Not just personality wise, cuz shit I think I'm hilarious :) But man, I use to do things and enjoy life. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy life but it's just focused on doing things and having fun with my kids. But, I think I'm forgetting to balance being a mom and being young at the same time. Maybe it's because I'm out of my element?

The  reason why I write this is because I see Brandon still hanging out with his friends, drinking. I almost never get to do that. It's not his fault, but I'm kinda like why don't I get to do that? We're both parents. How come he seems to still have fun and I don't? I think it's partially just because I make the decision not to. I don't know how he gets the energy to hang out at night and function the next day. Maybe I don't have enough of a reason to? I think if I had my close friends here and they wanted to hang out I probably would. I just look at how boring I am now. Even Brandon tells me that I'm boring all the time. I feel like the less I'm motivated to have fun, the less I find the urge to be fun. Does that make sense? I have made a lot of friends since I've moved up here, they're mainly Brandon's friend that I've befriended. I love them to death and I'm really glad that they're people that treat me like family, but there's nothing like your own set of friends that you hang out with. Ones you make on your own terms.

I wish I was fun again, but sometimes I don't know if I even have it in me. I feel like day by day, I'm becoming more uptight and the less I am making an initiative to be fun. It's like boredom has swallowed me. I have no motivation to drink, to hang out.. Even when I do, I feel like I hold back. That I'm just not really that into it.

Do other people feel this way? Do they become dissatisfied with the person they've become? Maybe it's a mommy evolution. You become a mom and you just slowly lose your fun.

New job, new style!

So this is the third week at my new job and I LOVE IT! The drive is so short I feel like I barely get on the freeway and I'm getting off again. It's way less stressful than my last job and just how peaceful it is here. It's the complete opposite of where I came from. It's different being so solitary and just feeling like you're not doing anything almost. It's kind of a problem because then I start window shopping more. Internet window shopping. I also have to get more clothes because I need to actually dress up for work now and also I don't get a casual Friday. My work before was business casual and that's what Friday here is. But being in a nice office environment actually makes me want to dress up. I got a couple pairs of slacks and some dresses and there's just something about me and slacks. It just doesn't look right. Instead I've been wearing a lot of pencil skirts and dresses. Now I'm totally drawn to them. I kinda like that fact that I can have a diversified style. I dress up and wear a lot more dresses at work. Then on the weekend's I'm still just me in my jean shorts and t-shirts. It kinda satisfies both my wanting to be more girly and loving to be casual.

Trent, I can't believe is going to be 8 months old soon. In 7 days to be exact. I feel like it's going by so quick but he hasn't really shown any drastic change. I've definitely been keeping up with the food thing. He sits very well but he's so fidgety that he just kinda falls back from excitement! He's sick again though and so is Chase. I feel so bad for them. It's like they never get to catch a break. It's been maybe 2 weeks since Trent was last sick. He still has no teeth and he doesn't say any words yet. He acts like he might try and crawl soon but besides that he really hasn't done much. 

Chase, he is a chatterbox. He just talks and talks. Even if its just bath time and he's repeating the same word over and over again. I have to tell him, SHHH. Chase you don't have to talk every minute that you're awake buddy. He's so energetic and curious about everything. He gets really annoying sometimes because he's just constantly following me. I know I complain now, I'll miss it when he's older. For the most part he's very caring and VERY SWEET!