When did I get so UNFUN?

Have you ever just kind of stopped and evaluated your life for a moment. We get so caught up just keeping the gears moving that I think we forget to take a look at our life in a panoramic view. What are we doing or not doing? The person we've become from the person we use to be. Little thing that has been neglected; whether it's your friends, enjoying life, being fun.

I just realized how NOT FUN I've become. Not just personality wise, cuz shit I think I'm hilarious :) But man, I use to do things and enjoy life. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy life but it's just focused on doing things and having fun with my kids. But, I think I'm forgetting to balance being a mom and being young at the same time. Maybe it's because I'm out of my element?

The  reason why I write this is because I see Brandon still hanging out with his friends, drinking. I almost never get to do that. It's not his fault, but I'm kinda like why don't I get to do that? We're both parents. How come he seems to still have fun and I don't? I think it's partially just because I make the decision not to. I don't know how he gets the energy to hang out at night and function the next day. Maybe I don't have enough of a reason to? I think if I had my close friends here and they wanted to hang out I probably would. I just look at how boring I am now. Even Brandon tells me that I'm boring all the time. I feel like the less I'm motivated to have fun, the less I find the urge to be fun. Does that make sense? I have made a lot of friends since I've moved up here, they're mainly Brandon's friend that I've befriended. I love them to death and I'm really glad that they're people that treat me like family, but there's nothing like your own set of friends that you hang out with. Ones you make on your own terms.

I wish I was fun again, but sometimes I don't know if I even have it in me. I feel like day by day, I'm becoming more uptight and the less I am making an initiative to be fun. It's like boredom has swallowed me. I have no motivation to drink, to hang out.. Even when I do, I feel like I hold back. That I'm just not really that into it.

Do other people feel this way? Do they become dissatisfied with the person they've become? Maybe it's a mommy evolution. You become a mom and you just slowly lose your fun.