Rekindle the light of fixing up our place..

So right now, I have sooo much work to do but I just can't get myself to do any of it. I think I have that afternoon coma, plus I'm on my second cup of coffee and I'm just exhausted. (Thanks to Trent screaming all night)

Yesterday, I was browsing the internet like I always do and I came across a home that is the identical layout of ours except it looks like a model home. It really ignited my interest in fixing up our place. It's an on again and off again idea that I've entertained but due to financial reasons and just lack of time we never get around to it. We've lived in our condo now for 3 years. We always talk about fixing it up even though it's not ours. Then it goes to this debate of, well we have no money to fix it up and secondly it's not ours. My thing is, I know it's not ours but as long as we stay here we should make it our home. It's not that I don't like our place, because I love it for now but one thing I wish we were able to do was make it newer. Do a couple updates, paint it, fix up some of the stuff..decorate. I like when you move into a new place and everything's fresh. Fresh paint, fresh carpet, clean..it feels like new. We never really got that. We just kinda moved in and settled in with whatever it is that we have. It's much harder to try and do all that when you're already moved in.

But seeing pictures of this place really gave me the mojo to fix it up. I mean, this place looks amazing and we could definitely make it look similar to that!

First off, this place had a patio cover. THAT WOULD BE AWESOME! Our place is always sunny. From sun up to sun down it's shining on some part of our place and it gets hot very quickly. I would love to be able to have a patio cover that provides some sort of shade, maybe hang some plants and some lights..

This place has brand new cabinets it seems and it really just makes the kitchen feel long and new! We have really nice granite at our place now, but our cabinets are in bad shape and it needs some new hardware and paint. These are such little things we could do that would make a huge difference! I also REALLY wanted to get a microwave for above our stove. That would be such a space saver. We use to have ours on the counter but it took up so much space. So now we have it on a kitchen cart but that takes up space in our dining area!

I love that this place has hardwood flooring..whether it's hardwood or laminate I love it. It really makes the place feel clean. Our carpet is in really bad shape no matter how we try to clean it. I keep telling Brandon we should just do laminate throughout the living room and hallways! The upside is that we actually use that extra space in the living room where they have their dining table as part of the living room. We put the kids toys there. Plus, we have a big bulky sectional. I like that their couch makes the place seem bigger, but our sectional is great for entertaining.

They have a fireplace in their place and we don't. We do however have one of those electric fireplaces in the bedroom and I told Brandon we should move it to the living room. Yes, it kind of takes up a lot of space but  I would put it right where their fireplace is. I think it would really make it homey!

Okay, here is one HUGE thing that I noticed in this place that I definitely want for ours. They have DOORS to hide the washer and dryer. I am so going to make Brandon put doors in. One, it'll shield some of the noise and two it really makes the house seem a lot neater!

They also have a hanging lamp in the kitchen and that's where we have our dining table. I think that would add a nice little flare to our dining space!

I like how they have cabinets instead on the left side of the counter. We have an empty space which is kind of nice, you can put a stool under and sit there to apply your make-up. But, we never do that and it would be nice because we already have limited cabinet space..or maybe we can have a double sink?? :) I also really like that they have sliding glass doors for the shower.

Now that I've seen how nice this place is, it revives my hope of making our place look brand new like that. I'm motivated to pick out some paint colors first. Brandon said after we paint the place we can put in doors for the washer and dryer section. Maybe we just have to actually go and start it, then it'll get the ball rolling!

Urban Decay Mini-Haul!

I've gotten these gems for a while now but I'm so busy I never get to blog about it! Eventually, it's been so long I'm over it but I ABSOLUTELY LOOOOOVE my new products so much I HAVE to rave about them!

First off, I usually never pay full price for my stuff unless it's been a part of my daily ritual. So for me to experiment on new stuff, I usually get them when they're on sale. Yes, I'm a mom on a budget

First off, I am not a person of change. I always stick with the same colors even when I try to venture. I totally took a risk this time and got colors that I would find intimidating. These blushes are my new addition. I've pretty much abandoned all of the other ones I have. I read such great reviews on these and now I know what they're talking about! They are extremely blendable and I think it leaves a very natural glow. It's so hard to explain but it's just like a blush of color. Quickie is defiitely my favorite. It's not as sheer as the other colors and it's my daily go-to. It does give you a little flushed look of after you've had a quickie ;) Bang is VERY bright red when you look at it, but when you put it on, it's more sheer and blends on easily. It really doesn't not leave a dramatic color like you would think. Greedy is sheer as well and it gives you more of a little tint. Overall, I am obsessed with these blushes and if I could I would get them all!

I saw this "De-slick in a Tube" was on sale and read really great reviews about it so I decided to try it. Lately, I feel SO GREASY by the end of the day. It's getting pretty bad. I think it's because I changed my moisturizer. The de-slick does work really well and kind of leaves a tacky type texture after put it on which causes it to see matte. But, I still find myself greasy at the end of the day just maybe not as much. They say you can wear it under your foundation or use it when you do get greasy over your foundation and it won't remove it. 

Next is another "De-Slick" product. It's a face mist that you use before and after your foundation. The thing is I don't wear foundation so I've been using it before my moisturizer and after my make-up is done as a setting mist. I don't really think it makes my face matte throughout the day. I honestly don't feel much of anything. I have to try it I guess maybe as a "later in the day" spray and see if it extracts the oil.

I got a free sample of their eyeshadow primer potion. It kind of reminds me of a face primer but for your lids. It gives you a silky feeling and it's quite nice. Less heavy and thick as the other primers which I think is key for asian eyes, especially since my eyelids tends to get oily.

 Lastly, I got the "Lip Junkie" in Runway. I've been into glosses again lately. I still hate myself after wearing it because it's so damn sticky! But, it's the only way I can get the perfect mixture of color and moisture. I do like the color a lot and I don't think it's anything special. I think almost all lipglosses are the same no matter what they say. I think I should've gone with a more daring color to feel more satisfaction but this was the only color on sale.

Here is a picture of me using the Runway gloss and the Quickie!

In this picture I'm wearing BANG! It's really hard to tell the difference to be honest. Unless you see it in person. but it does look a lot more beautiful in person.

Pityriasis Rosea

Finally, I find a minute to blog but with my luck Trent will wake up from his nap right now.

I've been having an ongoing skin issue for the last 3 weeks. It started maybe even before that with this tiny little red spot on my left knee that itched and has spread to about the size of a quarter. At first I thought nothing of it. Just maybe some dry skin and irritation got bigger and bigger. Then one day, during notary class I was just kind of scratching my back and neck..next thing you know I start seeing more little red spots on my back and neck. They started off small, maybe the size of a regular bug bite and it just becomes bigger and bigger. I went to see the doctor for a cold I had for over 2 weeks. I knew by then something was infected. Turns out I had a sinus infection..while I was there I casually asked her about this spot on my knee and told her I was starting to get little spots on my back too. She looked at it and told me it looks like ringworm, without studying the other ones and that I could get some OTC anti-fungal cream. Well I used that stuff for over 10 days and it just got worse and worse. It spread to my abdomen, neck, more of my back, armpits and I thought maybe it was just from scratching that it spread my ringworm. Even though it was something contagious, no one else in my family had gotten it and Brandon and I share towels and sheets.

I casually asked Trent's pediatrician at his 9 month check-up (I know I can't believe he's 9 months old!) and she said that doesn't look like ringworm, it wouldn't spread like that and I would've seen results by now if I've been using the cream. So finally, about a week later I brought Chase to see the doctor to make sure he didn't have an ear infection and I had the doctor examine me as well. She told me it looks like pityriasis rosea. SAY WHAT?!? She gave me this handout on it and it explained exactly what it was and my symptoms. It starts off as just one patch and it after a two weeks or so you'll see more usually on the abdomen. The rash usually lasts 6-8 weeks but it can last up to several months..

Great, at least I kind of know what the hell is wrong with me. I kept putting on anti-fungal cream and hydrocortisone and I have so much of it that I might as well wear it as a body lotion! I'm SOOOOOO itchy it's crazy. I've never been so itchy in my life and it's just everywhere. I've switched the baby wash and using Cetaphil. Nothing cures it, it resolves on its own but I guess there are ways to irritate it less. Every year I feel like I experience some type of skin issues. Ever since I got pregnant with Chase, my skin has been super sensitive. I had some sort of skin infection before and my whole body was covered with these pimple looking things and I ended up having to use some steroid cream on it because it's dangerous for pregnant women. I still don't see improvement, if anything I feel like it's still spreading. Always in summer time, how am I ever suppose to wear a bathing suit!

What kind of mom am I?

You know, I think we all think that we are a cool mom deep down inside. We all think that we are doing what we think is right, but when it comes to parenting..there is no right or wrong. Well there is definitely wrong, but that's a whole another discussion.

The other day I was having a discussion with someone about something that I did and they go, "oh no, you're not a helicopter mom are you?" Uh, helicopter mom? Then I got it, a mom that pretty much hovers over their children in everything they do, never letting go. I said, "no way, I'm a tiger mom." I love how that's my response now. So I wonder if you ask all the moms around the world what kind of mom they think they are..what kind of answers would we get? 

So I decided to take a quiz. I just Google'd it and looked up the first link: What Type of Mom Are You?

The Alpha Mom

Watch out, kids, because here comes the Alpha Mom! She is plugged in and all business, even when it comes to solving personal issues—her kids are always on time and have the cleanest clothes on the block. She uses her vast contacts and tech knowledge to simplify the complex in her life. Alpha Mom is armed with a BlackBerry, and she is going to make it happen. Whatever "it" is—a school fundraiser, a playdate, a corporate merger. Alpha Mom is always on top of it. 

Okay, so this doesn't really answer my question. Well a little bit. I know I'm an over achiever and I take "putting my kids first" way too seriously (if that's even possible).

What I do and my reason for it:

1. I always make sure my kids are clean. If you wouldn't run around with crust around your mouth and looking a mess why would you let your kids? I understand that kids get dirty but there's no reason why the dirt should stay there if they're done playing. Parents, teaching your kids to wipe their mouths and their hands after they eat is not only for hygiene reasons, it's manners!
2. No soda's, juice or candy. If it doesn't belong on the food pyramid, it doesn't belong in their body. They are kids and they have their whole lives ahead of them to dump sodas and sugary things into them when they are older. If you start them adjusting to the idea of not having any of these things when they are young, they are more likely to not want it when they are older. Kids already have energy, we don't need to fill them with sugary drinks and candy. Also, my thought is if you give them something that they are obviously going to prefer versus bland stuff (ex. regular milk or water) they are always going to choose chocolate milk, juice or soda. I've made exceptions for Chase now since he's exposed to different things at school. I'm sure he's had a piece of chocolate or a chocolate chip cookie, but not in my house. Instead give them the cake without the frosting or better yet maybe some pie! Orange juice is the exception I make. 
3. I let Chase fight for himself. If I fight all of his battles for him, then he's never going to learn to stand his own. I tell Chase that it's not okay to hit, but if someone hits you then you hit them back. Most parents will probably disagree with this but I will not let my kids get bullied. There is a difference between fighting and self defense. I don't want him to come to me and be a tattle-tale. I won't be by his side every minute of the day especially when he goes to school. He needs to be able to handle his own.
4. I constantly remind Chase to drink water. I think this one is pretty self explanatory but easily forgotten. We as adults don't drink our daily amount and we remember things. Can you imagine kids trying to remember to drink water on top of their exciting day? I think sometimes people forget to get their kids into the habit of drinking water that the kids end up not liking it. I think it's a very important habit to instill. Kids play all day and forget that they're thirsty. Next thing you know, they are dehydrated and don't feel well. Let's not even let it get there! 
5. I bargain with Chase a lot. Maybe bargaining is not the right word. If Chase asks me for something, I usually ask him to do something for me in return. It's not really that he HAS to. It's more so he gets accustomed to the idea of, giving and taking. Not just taking and I want this and that. It's more if you want this, then you have to work for it. As kids, there's not much he can "work for." But it gets him into the right mindset of not just demanding things. 
6. I make him eat his dinner. I know it doesn't sound like much but I can't express how often I've heard parents complain about their kids not eating or not wanting to eat. I'm not saying I force feed my kid, but there are times when kids just want to play and they say they're full. I've heard Chase tell me he's done because he sees other people are done and he wants to play, but I tell him to finish his food and he actually does. Judging by portion and when he had a snack I think you can use your best judgement and see if he's really full or just trying to get out of eating for playtime. Which leads me to the next one..
7. No T.V or playing when eating. We sit down and have dinner time. It's a very important thing that both Brandon and I agreed on. I think it's important to have a family sit down dinner where we aren't distracted by TV. Occasionally, we do allow him to eat in front of the TV (usually on weekends) but that's seldom. I'm saying MAYBE once or twice a month if even. When we do, I almost immediately regret it because he's distracted from his food. Next thing you know, he has barely eaten and he just doesn't want to eat anymore. Kids should sit down and eat. They shouldn't get up and down from the table running around. I think it also develops good manners. Would you let your kids run around in a restaurant while everyone's eating? 
8. No yelling or screaming. Have you ever heard kids at the grocery stores or restaurants that just yells and screams for shits and giggles? Or they do it because they're trying to throw a tantrum. I personally think it's embarrassing to have a child act out in that way. One, they should never have to yell or scream in a high pitch voice unless they are frightened or they are in some sort of open space yelling off a mountain. 
9. I don't let my kids run around the store. I'll admit I was hesitant to let Chase walk when we were inside Target for the first time. I was afraid that he would be out of control running around that I would have to try and catch him and just have other people look at me with terror in their eyes. If Chase started acting up he's going back in the cart. Luckily, when I tell him to stay by me he does. At once point, I even tested him telling him he had to stay next to me at all times and I would suddenly stop just to see if he'd notice. 
10. I emailed the principal of an elementary school to see how old you have to be to enroll. Yes, my son is only turning 3 years old, but it's never too late to start planning for their education future. I know that school isn't everything, but that's where they are pretty much going to start becoming influenced by peers and you can only hope that what you have distilled in them remains on their mind. The least you can do, is make sure they go to a good school to limit the negative peer pressure. I saw that the school next to ours only had a 4 rating out of 10. So I decided to look around and see what other schools within our school district was good. I saw one that had 9 out of 10 and great reviews so I emailed the principal to see how old do they have to be to start kindergarten and if they offered Pre-K. 
11. I don't make excuses for my kids behavior. Yes, sometimes being tired is the culprit but a lot of times I think parents are just looking to make excuses for their kids behavior. If Chase is acting out of line, you best believe I'm the first one to call him out on it. The more you make excuses for your kids, the more you're making an excuse to accept inappropriate behavior. 
12. Whining and crying. I'm still working on this one. I tell him all the time to stop whining! It's babyish, and it's not necessary especially if you're a big boy. It's annoying and they need to learn to ask for things in a big boy way. Another thing is crying when they are in trouble. If you're getting scolded for not listening, don't cry. I don't even want to hear it. If you don't want to be in trouble, then don't do something that will get you in trouble. 

I'm wrapping up my list here. This might be a very controversial list depending on people's parenting style. If you disagree with me, that's okay. Just because I'm strict doesn't mean I'm not loving. In fact, I'm strict because I love them. I think it's important to distill good discipline and manners when they are young and become more relaxed as they get older. That way they already have that fundamental in them and it comes more naturally. At the end of the day, our kids are a reflection of ourselves and are also our greatest compliments.

When did I get so UNFUN?

Have you ever just kind of stopped and evaluated your life for a moment. We get so caught up just keeping the gears moving that I think we forget to take a look at our life in a panoramic view. What are we doing or not doing? The person we've become from the person we use to be. Little thing that has been neglected; whether it's your friends, enjoying life, being fun.

I just realized how NOT FUN I've become. Not just personality wise, cuz shit I think I'm hilarious :) But man, I use to do things and enjoy life. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy life but it's just focused on doing things and having fun with my kids. But, I think I'm forgetting to balance being a mom and being young at the same time. Maybe it's because I'm out of my element?

The  reason why I write this is because I see Brandon still hanging out with his friends, drinking. I almost never get to do that. It's not his fault, but I'm kinda like why don't I get to do that? We're both parents. How come he seems to still have fun and I don't? I think it's partially just because I make the decision not to. I don't know how he gets the energy to hang out at night and function the next day. Maybe I don't have enough of a reason to? I think if I had my close friends here and they wanted to hang out I probably would. I just look at how boring I am now. Even Brandon tells me that I'm boring all the time. I feel like the less I'm motivated to have fun, the less I find the urge to be fun. Does that make sense? I have made a lot of friends since I've moved up here, they're mainly Brandon's friend that I've befriended. I love them to death and I'm really glad that they're people that treat me like family, but there's nothing like your own set of friends that you hang out with. Ones you make on your own terms.

I wish I was fun again, but sometimes I don't know if I even have it in me. I feel like day by day, I'm becoming more uptight and the less I am making an initiative to be fun. It's like boredom has swallowed me. I have no motivation to drink, to hang out.. Even when I do, I feel like I hold back. That I'm just not really that into it.

Do other people feel this way? Do they become dissatisfied with the person they've become? Maybe it's a mommy evolution. You become a mom and you just slowly lose your fun.

New job, new style!

So this is the third week at my new job and I LOVE IT! The drive is so short I feel like I barely get on the freeway and I'm getting off again. It's way less stressful than my last job and just how peaceful it is here. It's the complete opposite of where I came from. It's different being so solitary and just feeling like you're not doing anything almost. It's kind of a problem because then I start window shopping more. Internet window shopping. I also have to get more clothes because I need to actually dress up for work now and also I don't get a casual Friday. My work before was business casual and that's what Friday here is. But being in a nice office environment actually makes me want to dress up. I got a couple pairs of slacks and some dresses and there's just something about me and slacks. It just doesn't look right. Instead I've been wearing a lot of pencil skirts and dresses. Now I'm totally drawn to them. I kinda like that fact that I can have a diversified style. I dress up and wear a lot more dresses at work. Then on the weekend's I'm still just me in my jean shorts and t-shirts. It kinda satisfies both my wanting to be more girly and loving to be casual.

Trent, I can't believe is going to be 8 months old soon. In 7 days to be exact. I feel like it's going by so quick but he hasn't really shown any drastic change. I've definitely been keeping up with the food thing. He sits very well but he's so fidgety that he just kinda falls back from excitement! He's sick again though and so is Chase. I feel so bad for them. It's like they never get to catch a break. It's been maybe 2 weeks since Trent was last sick. He still has no teeth and he doesn't say any words yet. He acts like he might try and crawl soon but besides that he really hasn't done much. 

Chase, he is a chatterbox. He just talks and talks. Even if its just bath time and he's repeating the same word over and over again. I have to tell him, SHHH. Chase you don't have to talk every minute that you're awake buddy. He's so energetic and curious about everything. He gets really annoying sometimes because he's just constantly following me. I know I complain now, I'll miss it when he's older. For the most part he's very caring and VERY SWEET!

Change

"The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow but simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live." - Leo Buscaglia

It has been a really long time since I've blogged. It's been really busy at work, but I know things are going to get a little bit crazier in a week before it gets calm again. There are so many things to write about that has happened since the last time I've blogged! Let's start with my main priorities..

Trent is going to be 7 months old tomorrow! I look at him and I think maybe he's growing up faster than I realized. I feel like I'm so busy with Chase that I'm falling behind with Trent. That or maybe he's just reaching his milestones a little bit slower than Chase. Trent can finally sit and roll over both ways although he doesn't do it often. He is about 19 lbs and still has no teeth. He was sleeping through the night for the longest time until he started getting sick. I think he developed the habit of waking up at night and now he won't stop. He's sharing a room with Chase now. It has been an easier transition than I thought. I thought it was going to be difficult for Chase because he's such a light sleeper. When Trent cries in the middle of the night, it does wake Chase up and I can see him sit up through the baby monitor sometimes then lay back down. I feel bad for him so I go in there and grab him. If he was in his own room, I would've let him cry it out for longer. That's one of the challenges that I face with Trent. I feel like with Chase I let him be more independent and self soothing. Trent hates being left alone or on the floor to play. I think it's because he sees his brother playing and moving around so he wants to be apart of it. Another thing is the baby foods and cereal. I started cereal a little bit later than Chase. I think with Chase I was eager to start new things with him because it was my first time! I started cereal for Trent when he was 6 months old and just when it started becoming consistent he started getting sick after his flu shot and it just seems back to back. It's affecting his bowel movements and he had a hard poop the other day so I stopped the cereal. Then he had diarrhea. I think I was onto trying different foods for Chase by now and he had 4 teeth! I shouldn't compare them, I know..but it's hard. I'm not holding Trent up to any standards, I'm just comparing. I think I need to kick it into a higher gear with Trent. I feel like I'm so busy making sure Chase isn't jealous or doing things with him because he's CONSTANTLY asking for things that I forget Trent needs just as much attention, if not more!

Chase, what to say. He is a chatterbox. He is obsessed with Batman and when he puts on his Spiderman shoes he thinks he's a superhero. He starts doing kick-ass moves. He's starting to get a little feisty and starting to fight for what's his. That's okay with me. I don't encourage hitting when you're mad, but we have been teaching him that if someone hits you, you hit them back. Chase is such a gentle giant and other kids takes advantage of that. I'm glad to see that he's starting to defend himself. He follows me around all the time. I go in a room, he's right behind me. I play with Trent, he's there playing too. I stop and he follows me where ever I go. Even if Brandon's home, he's my shadow. Except my shadow can talk. He did go through a phase where he's just so annoying, but he's back to his usual self now. He goes through these phases where he's kind of a jerk and just hates life and everything we ask of him is like asking him to drink cyanide. He is such a sweet boy though and he is very caring. I think I don't realize how well behaved he is until I bring him out. He is a kid that I can take to the store and bring him out without feeling embarrassed or out of control. He wants to do everything on his own and wants to help. I don't know if I'm ready for all that. I mean, I am but in a way I'm not. Having kids and slight OCD-ish behavior does not mesh well because he wants to do things his way and it bugs me!

Now on for the big finale...*DUN DUN DUNNN*
I GOT A NEW JOB! Yes! FINALLY, after three years of making this 140 mile a day commute. I FINALLY found something closer to home. It's in Newport Beach working as an Office Manager/Compliance Officer/FA Assistant/Personal Assistant. Pretty much, I'll be doing everything but the financial advisors' jobs. I've been looking on and off for the last three years and even willing to take a pay cut. I felt like this was God testing my patience and strength. That I needed to endure this to make me a stronger person and to learn to appreciate things. I ended up getting an offer from two different companies and I got a raise instead of a pay cut. I'm SO EXCITED to start my new life, my new career. This changes EVERYTHING. Financially, it will help SO MUCH. I get more time to spend with my family, less time in the car. I'll probably be less stressed out. I'll have time to go back to school. It's scary because I've been with my company now for 5 1/2 years. I grew up here. I started when I was only 20 and in a totally different stage in my life. Now, almost 6 years later..I have two kids and live in a different city. It's also intimidating because I think no matter how confident you are, there is always that tiny flicker or doubt where you're not sure if you can handle it. What if I fail or do not live up to their expectations. What if it's not the right move for me? Although change is scary, it is necessary. Change is the ONLY THING that is constant in life. You have to embrace it. Without change, life is at a standstill. In order to be better, to accept greater things into your life you have to allow yourself to take risks. Even if you fail, at least you can say that you tried. I KNOW that I am meant for something great and I am going to be successful. I've had many setbacks in life. I wouldn't even call them setbacks, just maybe obstacles. Obstacles adds character to life. There is a quote that I have as part of my email signature.

"Success is not measured by what you have accomplished, but by the opposition you have encountered and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds."

I think that is so true. Some people think success means making it big. Whether it's given to you, inherited or worked for. To them it's all the same. To those who has EARNED it, knows the difference. The journey is just as important because it teaches you things and it's what helps you become who you are. The lessons you learn along the way. Maybe it's just a mentality. I rather lose to a champion than to defeat a coward.