Parenting isn't easy, but no one ever said it'll be this hard! Okay, actually they did but I guess you can never quite mentally prepare yourself for it no matter what others say..
We are VERY VERY blessed to have such a good little boy on our hands. I think sometimes that's why it's even more frustrating when he does misbehave, because then you're kinda like..where is that coming from?!? Chase has definitely been a little more defiant than before and it's a test of patience. As he gets older, he gets smarter and realizes things and is experimental with his behavior. One issue we do have with him is that...he has a terrible temper. When he's mad, he's really mad. His favorite thing to do is to knock over his cup or throw his cup. Even if you place the cup somewhere else, but if it's within his sight or reach he will go and knock it down. We are still working on that one. The only thing we do is keep repeating to him that its not okay to throw your cup and I don't care if we are in a hurry or going somewhere. He is picking up that cup and placing it on the table if it's the last thing he does. He usually refuses for a while, but I think when it comes to kids..it's a stubborn war to see who's going to give in first. Let me tell you, I'm pretty darn stubborn myself.. It's tough because I catch myself thinking how crazy I must sound to others making such a big deal out of a freaking cup or any other little thing at that. But the point isn't about the cup or picking up a toy, it's about listening and following directions. There's a difference between him not doing it purposely because he wants to be defiant or because he can't or just simply being careless.
I am a very strict mom and you know what honestly, I don't know if it's going to work out the way I am hoping it will. I don't think there's a right or wrong way to parent. Everyone is different and everyone has their own preference. What may work on one child may not work on another and everyone is entitled to their opinion. I consider myself a "Tiger Mom." Maybe a more soft-core version. Btw, if you haven't read the book yet I highly recommend it. I think it's a good way to put into perspective what type of mom you are. Some people read the book and go "OH MY GOSH, HOW CRUEL IS SHE." I read it and personally didn't agree to everything, but noticed that was the way that I grew up and I find similarities in my expectations of Chase. That's the way I was raised and it wasn't really as shocking to me as it might have been to others that grew up in the western culture. I'm so tough on Chase even starting at such a young age because I expect the best from him. Not because I hate him or can't stand him. Not because I'm not affectionate and I'm cold-hearted, it's because I know he's capable of it.
I feel like sometimes, people are okay with mediocre. They are okay with their kid being like all the other kids. My perspective is, just because all of the other kids are like this, it doesn't give him an excuse to be this way. There are many OTHER kids out there, that are even better. They say its wrong to compare your kids, I guess the Chinese culture feels differently. They feel that if you compare your kids to others that are better than them, it will motivate them to strive for excellence. If you compare your kids to those are are worse, then you're never going to expect any better from them.
I feel like parenting is all about consistency. You can't waive, you can't give in, especially at such a young age..they're going to realize well if she gave in once then she can give in again. It's obviously possible or not that big of a deal if she let me slide before. I've treated Chase and spoke to him the same way since he was 1 year old or whenever age he was at when I felt he started understanding even the slightest bit. I use to think that maybe at a certain age is when I'll be stricter or start disciplining. Honestly, I couldn't pinpoint the exact date, week or age when I felt like he started to understand more. It just kind of happens! When they grow, it's such a smooth and gradual transition that you don't realize how much older and more advance they've become til you stop for a minute and go, "Oh man! When did he get so old and smart!"
You can't let someone do something for a long time, then suddenly decide to stop them or discipline them. It doesn't sit well with that person. That goes for all ages. So why would it work with a child? You can't let them get away or do certain things then when he turns 3 and you realize he's old enough now and he needs to stop and expect him to comply just like that. We are all creatures of habit. They're gonna go, well you always let me do this, or didn't care when I did that, why all of a sudden do I have to stop?
Now, I'm no expert on parenting..this is my first rodeo and I'm just going with it as it comes along. These are simply just my thoughts and views on parenting. So if people find this offensive or thinks I'm wrong. Well, that's your opinion and I hope whatever you're doing is working for you. Hopefully, in time we will know if this works out for me. I'm just saying that this obviously works on some families and children because my sister and I are one of them.
We grew up in a traditional Chinese cultured family. I am more Americanized since I came over at such a young age and certain things didn't work on me and I defied at the time. But, now when I look back, I understand and am grateful for how my parents raised me. I might not have understood at the time, but I wish I did. My sister and I were perfect little angels. Haha, well we weren't perfect but we were obedient, respectful and well behaved. We never even dare entertain the thought of stepping out of line, nevertheless put it to the test. You bring us somewhere, we sit down and ate our dinner quietly. Never spoke out of turn, but always answered when addressed. We always said hi and bye to every single person in the house out of respect. Never talked back, ran around the restaurant screaming, dare to disobey any order or instructions our parents gave. We were also taught to respect our elders, PERIOD. I think a lot of kids from the younger generation lack that. Respect comes in a lot of different forms, but to respect your elders is to know your place. After growing up being taught that, it becomes part of you. We walk side by side with our grandmothers, help them carry things. Other forms of respect and act of just comes naturally to you, because it then just makes sense.
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